No Rest For The Wicked

We came, we saw, we've kicked its ass


As I woke up from my slumber (or was woken up by Splug‘s bear-like snoring) I noticed my bedroll was a little lumpy. In my rush to go to bed I must have spread my bedroll on some rocks. Hopefully that won’t affect my limberness. As everyone woke up around me, I realized we were still in a hostile area and we needed to get a move on. Everyone thought this was a sound idea so we did. There were old weathered stairs leading downward into a black abyss, but being the brave group we are, this was the path we were taking. Valyn cast light onto his staff, Splug had acquired a sunrod, and Tyranny was insistent upon bringing a torch. As soon as he pulled it off the wall he threw it down the staircase, a hasty move. If my hood wasn’t on it would’ve singed my beautiful blonde hair! Anyways, the room was soon illuminated and the rustles of rats scurrying away was the only noise to be heard. Falkrunn mentioned something about a horse, I could swear she is losing her mind, hopefully someone will clue her in that these animals are quite different from horses. If not, I will have to draw her a picture of the difference. Once we were down there, I snuck into the icicle shaped rocks rising from the ground and hanging from the ceiling hoping to get some cover. Aw rats! No, no…literally…big ones, still definitely not horses but pretty big rats. I stand still hoping they won’t notice me, they move on for now. Meanwhile, I hear some kind of slimy, gross, slithering sound but am not sure what it is…I poke my head out of my cover only to be more confused by a repulsive blob covered in dirt and rat droppings slipping through another area like my cover. I immediately figure that if the blob can just go straight through this area then I might as well step out and fight.

Aw come on Chaos Bolt. I can never rely on you! UGH! Well I definitely do not want to be within the vicinity of this disgusting blob so I will just stay here…farther away than anybody else. Yep, in plain view, where the giant rats will attack me. Great. Oh who was I kidding like they were any match for The Great Nixie. Wait, wait just a minute! This monstrosity splits into TWO?! Oh no, yeah definitely going back into hiding. Maybe it won’t notice me. Fewf, good thing we have people who like to get slimy, now that that’s over with, let’s continue on. We crept along and found the blob’s living quarters along with an unlit path. Of course that’s where were going!! Adventure is my middle name! Unless it’s slimy…I don’t do slimy.

The path we took led us up to what looked to be a sprung trap. There was a pit dug in the ground with a dead reptilian creature along with a dead goblin. This was merely overlooked at first and Falkrunn ran on. I was thinking maybe there might have been other traps but she went off without warning. She was there one second…and then she wasn’t. I could still hear her though. Someone mentioned another trap and then I realized she must have fallen into a pit. I moved on carefully trying not to fall down as well. Rounding a corner she again falls in another pit. She’s a little hasty. As I move on carefully down the hall I see a reptilian creature like the one in the pit. Tyranny decides he wants to be an acrobat, because he favors my awesome skills, and tries to hop over the minuscule hole in the ground. In doing so, he jumps straight into the pit and without warning two of our group is in different pits. I decided I must engage in battle because everyone was preoccupied with their own trials. Valyn and I seemed to be taking on these creatures quite mightily. And when the tank decides to go in for a hit, she is shoved backward…and we hear a yelp as she crashes on top of the fallen Falkrunn. I don’t blame Falkrunn for the yelp, if a statue came tumbling down on top of me, I think I would have been crushed. Remembering that I am fighting monsters, I continue to fight and succeed in killing what looked to be the main leader of these reptilian creatures. Valyn and I cleared this room with little help from the others, although I seem to remember Casual Friday coming into play a few times as well.

After retrieving our comrades we remembered that there was another unexplored path that we had seen on our way to this room. Hoping there were no creatures that heard us pass by before (although I wouldn’t be surprised with Miss Steel Toe over here), we hurried to make our way to the uncharted path. A curious sight as we walked up to a door with a note attached that said in so many words, you shouldn’t enter. I never listen to the advice of others, I came on this journey for adventure and just because some note says do not enter, does not change my bold nature. We open the door and right away I see a little island with what looks to be treasure. Throwing caution to the wind I leap onto the island with hopes that there might be something worth our time. There is a scroll that I open and read and it seems to be nothing of importance to me, I set it back down and go for the next one. That scroll did not seem nearly as nice as the last one, and while I am reading the scroll I hear a rumbling noise. Rumbling is never a good sign. Before I have time to move a slippery blue wave of slime pours over me. Oh come on didn’t I say I don’t do slime. Welp, this sucks, I am all by myself left to die on this island…wait…hey look Falkrunn is coming to help me. There must be some other reason for her to be jumping on this island because she has made it clear that she likes no one of Elven descent. Whoaaaaa. Am I still here…alive? I feel like someone just pushed my head underwater for what seemed to be years. OH that disgusting slime is still there, maybe if I lay here it won’t notice me? Uh oh Falkrunn needs help I need to move to stabilize her, but if I do that might compromise my health. She can’t say I never helped her, now I am out of here. Ick that slime got all over my shoes causing me to splash into the water. I should’ve listened to the note on the door. Maybe I should swim away…Oh great the dwarfs in need of help again. To swim or to save? I guess I’ll help her again. But then I am really out of here. After I helped her, I leapt to shore and ran to the door to get as far away from the slime as possible. Everyone is trying their hardest to defeat the slime and finally with one last explosion of repulsive goo, the creature is gone. I am so tired I can hardly rejoice. We all decide to sleep in this room since there is no longer a threat, and it has a working door. I take off most of my soaking clothing because it will dry faster that way. Most of the others do the same thing, and we are all ready to forget about the slippery slime, and slip into dreamland.


Excuse me! I wasn’t the FIRST one to fall into a pit; that was the Tank. And it isn’t JUST those of Elven descent that I don’t like. I don’t much like anybody. Except for Friar Fred; he has a Good Head for Ale.


Oh, and good job. Funny :)


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